A Matter of Culture

In my years of working with youth, I have found it necessary to enter their culture to have respectful relationships with them. I am not exactly sure how to describe what I mean by teen culture. I know it's not what most adults think it is. It is wrong by definition to make a statement like "all teens distrust adults" or "all teens like loud music" or "all teens like xyz". Teen culture is not defined in terms of likes/dislikes.

I think it has to do more with the fact that teens are normally much less hung-up and set in their ways than adults. Subjects are generally not taboo with teens. Generally, I find most teens very much more open-minded and thoughtful than most adults. If I want to have a thoughtful conversation about a controversial topic, I am much more likely to find a teenager who will have a calm, rational, thoughtful conversation compared with many adults. Teens are also more willing to be independent thinkers.

I have found that most teens crave respect from adults. They want to be treated like they have intrinsic worth and that their thoughts are worthy of being heard. I think I have personally made a lot of progress listening and valuing. It's one of the best things I have ever done.

Listen. Interact. Don't be shocked, but respect.